#HemingwayJokes

I just had to save the #HemingwayJokes on Twitter. pdf file here: TwitterHemingwayJokes

Results for #HemingwayJokes

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1h                         Sacha Blumen@SachaBlumen

GOLD. Love #HemingwayJokes. “@mshell_harris: @The100Bus Why did the chicken cross the road? To die. In the rain. #HemingwayJokes

1h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“I said ‘it’,” said the man from Nantucket. “Not ‘you.'” She cried herself to sleep. #HemingwayJokes

5h Mark Miller@BioOilGuy

@bsmiller25 Thanks said the old man seeing a bit of himself in the boy. #hemingwayjokes

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12h Ben Miller@bsmiller25

@BioOilGuy would love all the #hemingwayjokes

18h William Topek@WilliamTopek

He could hear the armless, legless man thrashing about in the pile of dry leaves. He called out: “Russell, is that you?” #HemingwayJokes

18h William Topek@WilliamTopek

He didn’t care how many men the filthy Mexican whore needed to screw in her light bulb, damn her. #HemingwayJokes

18h William Topek@WilliamTopek

The chicken crossed the road, fatigued yet resolute, leaving tiny claw marks in the dust and as his head bobbed apiece #HemingwayJokes

18h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“I’ve read that.The sun also rises,” he smirked. “In my PANTS!” She sighed. The die was cast. She was moving back to Europe. #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“..cough drop stopped the coffin!” he finished triumphantly. “I love beer,” she thought. “And I have one. To hell with men.” #HemingwayJokes

19h Stefan Bennett@DudeKablamo

@SteveHuff He said, your mother hangs a Pork Chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her. Oh wait…not Hemingway #HemingwayJokes

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19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

No matter how much she drank, she couldn’t block it. His song. The jukebox stuck on replay. Truly, the song that never ends. #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

An Irishman, a Frenchman, and a German walked into a bar. They thought the Great War was over. They were wrong. #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“One day,” she began, “Ole told Lena” — “We don’t know any damned Scandinavians,” he told her. “Get to the point.” #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

He looked at his toes. Mumbled,”Last night I found a peanut.” “Why do you never tell me anything of consequence?” she cried. #HemingwayJokes

19h joshua; Theater @IamRAVENCLAW

Mojito? #HemingwayJokes

19h joshua; Theater @IamRAVENCLAW

#HemingwayJokes I wanna read these

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“Knock, knock.” Again, the door. “Whose’ there?” No answer. He put down his mojito. Began the lonely trek across the carpet. #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

“How is a blueberry like a chicken?” demanded the wiseacre. He shrugged. The fowl’s indigo hue would be unnoticed en croute. #HemingwayJokes

19h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

Lost. Alone. The darkness was a prison. The lightbulb in my hand was useless. I had no one to help me change it. #HemingwayJokes

19h Jane Gwaltney@poesparrow

#HemingwayJokes There is no halfway. The glass is empty…shattered in thousands of fragments on the highway…alone…in the rain.

19h Bored Nihilist@borednihilist

The approaching planes droned. “Forgive me,” he said to the whore, and sipped his brandy. The earth moved as the bomb fell. #HemingwayJokes

19h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

The dog had lost its nose saving my life. I could never bring myself to wash him. He was my only friend. #HemingwayJokes

19h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

The label said ‘boomerang’. I bought it, knowing otherwise. When thrown it did not come back. Like so many things. #HemingwayJokes

19h Mutton of the Sea@muttonofthesea

She skimmed the thread of #HemingwayJokes. A slight smile twitched her reluctant upper lip. She turned back to her gin and tonic.

20h Steve Kemple@stevekemple

#HemingwayJokes

from Cincinnati, OHfrom Cincinnati, OH

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

He said, “Your mother’s head is small. She uses teabags as pillows.” She drank. He looked at everything through perversions. #HemingwayJokes

20h Ceil K@ceilck

“But, I am your wife!” She screamed at him. But he felt nothing. He motioned at the guards. “Take her. Please.” #HemingwayJokes

20h No no, you go.@GlancesNods

He worried his drink, then stood to face her. From his front pocket, a banana. “You’re never happy to see me!” She cried. #HemingwayJokes

20h Lisa Taylor@ltaylor100

@SteveHuff There were times, after his mother was gone. Looking back, as one does. “She really did sit AROUND the house.” #HemingwayJokes

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20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

She said, “When your mother turns sideways she vanishes.” He looked at the night sky, searching for Cancer, the crab. #HemingwayJokes

20h Ceil K@ceilck

“No man is an island,” she whispered. The smoke drifted off his cigarette. A map of Eugene, Oregonlie torn at his feet. #HemingwayJokes

20h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

Douglaswas lying still. The shovel had bitten deep into his skull. No one was laughing now. #HemingwayJokes

20h Michelle Harris@mshell_harris

@The100Bus Why did the chicken cross the road? To die. In the rain. #HemingwayJokes

In reply to The 100 Bus Hide conversation

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

He asked her, “Does your mother braid her mustache?” She put her hand over her mouth. She turned away. #HemingwayJokes

20h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

The bar was empty. Then The Horse arrived. The bartender reserved his usual greeting. My face was longer that night. #HemingwayJokes

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

He said, “Your mother is fat. She has her own center of gravity.” She said, “I don’t like it when you drink.” He drank. #HemingwayJokes

20h Zachary Klaas@ZakKlaas

“I would rather have this bottle in front of me.” That was all he could remember. He drank to forget. #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

His stump had grown ripe in the thick air. “Pull my finger,” he groaned. And then he was gone. #HemingwayJokes

20h ProfessorSnack@ProfessorSnack

Two white elephants walk into a bar. Wait…two hills walk into a bar. Or maybe it was a doctor’s office. I need a drink. #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

The blonde motioned out to sea. “There is nothing for me, there.” #HemingwayJokes

20h No no, you go.@GlancesNods

She circled the bull fighting ring. “The bastard said it was in the corner,” she cried, as the sun hit her hair. #HemingwayJokes

20h leahverre@leahverre

The priest and the rabbi sit alone on the shifting raft. One starts to speak. “Wait”, says the other, “look at the moon.” #HemingwayJokes

20h Josh Striker@jgstriker

@InfiniteChicken The sun rose. ‘This is the desert,’ Jack said. Chester Cheetah wiped his sunglasses with his tail. #Hemingwayjokes

20h The 100 Bus@The100Bus

The newspaper had a wide circulation. It’s pages we’re monochrome. There was no mention of the dead. Nothing about the war. #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

RT @ltaylor100: @InfiniteChicken Knock-knock. The sound, insistent. Answering, he expected little. “Banana,” the response. #HemingwayJokes

20h Lisa Taylor@ltaylor100

@InfiniteChicken Knock-knock. The sound, insistent. Answering, he expected little. “Banana,” the response. #HemingwayJokes

In reply to Michael King Hide conversation

20h Zachary Klaas@ZakKlaas

Ask not for whom the knock knocks. #HemingwayJokes

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

Two peanuts entered a bar. One fought. The other did not. They stumbled home before dawn, the beaten one murmuring ‘Mama.’ #HemingwayJokes

20h Ceil K@ceilck

@juliegoldberg You really need to check out #HemingwayJokes

20h No no, you go.@GlancesNods

He pulled the bandage from his eyes and looked. It was black. It was white. It was red all over. There was news of the war. #HemingwayJokes

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

“The baby seal sat at the bar. He ordered a Canadian Club. The bartender smiled. The seal smiled back. His eyes were cold.” #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

How many men, how many knuckles, white on the lightbulb. It took armies. Change came, it came with chariots and bluster. #HemingwayJokes

20h ryan kresse@ryankresse

A man with no arms, no legs. A wall. A firing squad. Rain. He looks down at the mud. “My name is Walter,” he whispers. #Hemingwayjokes

20h Zachary Klaas@ZakKlaas

If the man could walk that way, he would not have needed the talcum powder. His legs were chafed raw. #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

The string, his eyes tightened by the sun, answered. “I’m a frayed knot.” The sound of gunfire echoed in the hills. #HemingwayJokes

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

“A dyslexic man walked into a bra. The whore in the bra held his head for hours. Her chest was as flat as the plains.” #HemingwayJokes

20h Anna Russo@AnacardioRosso

@SteveHuff There was a lady, with a man. She never took off her hat. He ate the complimentary peanuts. #HemingwayJokes

In reply to Steve Huff Hide conversation

20h Lisa Taylor@ltaylor100

@InfiniteChicken The chicken paused. The road beckoned, called. Once crossed, no longer unknown. #HemingwayJokes @SteveHuff

In reply to Michael King Hide conversation

20h Steve Huff@SteveHuff

“Jesus walked into a bar. He ordered a glass of water. He could hear the crowd in the distant bullfighting ring. He drank.” #Hemingwayjokes

20h Zachary Klaas@ZakKlaas

An old man walked into the sea… #HemingwayJokes

20h Michael King@InfiniteChicken

@SteveHuff A rabbi and a priest. They fought together, once. The bar held their secrets, their pasts. #HemingwayJokes

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